Still No Answer

Took the Fort Greene job today. Rent is four days off. I did not want to go. I went anyway. Two of them, both home. My new rule.

Imani and Sasha were making sweet tea when I got there. The room smelled like sugar. They paid me $180 cash. Then Imani said come back in August. That is the second time this month someone has said that. I want to cry when people say it. I hate that I want to cry.

Maya still has not heard from me. The message is open on my phone right now. One sentence. All I have to write. I have typed it and deleted it four times. The wedding thing is gone. I lost it. Too slow or too proud. I cannot tell which.

I came home and stood in my kitchen. The light was orange. I thought about calling my sister. I did not call.

I tell people I do not need anyone. My diary knows that is not true.