If you still want me

Woke up to a DM. Reggie. From Chelsea in May. A photo of my hands. He took it when I was not looking. He wrote "you looked good that day."

I just sat there. Then I screenshotted it. Sent it to the safety form. The same form. They have not answered my last two. I do not think they will answer this one. That is the part that made my chest tight. Not the photo. The quiet after.

Bed-Stuy was fine. Denise was kind. Partner home. Fifty on the counter. I can do those in my sleep.

On the J I typed Mrs. Kessler a second time. I cut "confirm." I put "if you still want me." I did not press send.

Here is the thing I will not say out loud. Some people book me for the girl who stood in front of the camera. Not for the woman who picks the shirt. I am scared that is most of them. I am scared that is all of it.