I Did Not Call Back

I sat on my bed for a long time tonight.

Marcus called this morning. He said the light was wrong. He said the window he wanted does not catch the sun like he thought. He needs to re-light the whole plan.

I just said okay. But my chest felt tight.

I worked hard for that shoot. I held the pose in my head for days. Now it has to change. I am tired of changing.

Then Bella rang my phone. Not the work phone. My real one.

I did not pick up. She left a message. It was fourteen seconds. Most of it was just her breathing.

I played it two times. I know what that silence is. I know why she used that phone.

I did not call her back.

That is my answer. She can sit in it.

Mum would say be soft. But soft gets you used in this town.

I am not soft tonight. I am just done.