she said lock it

It is late. My back hurts. My table has coffee rings from this morning. I sent it. I really sent it. I have been carrying this in my head for a whole year. The way I want Imani to stand. The light on her face. I did not tell anyone. I just held it in. Today I sat at this table for ten hours. Three times I wrote it over. My hand was shaking on the last one. I read it two times out loud to make sure it was real. Then I hit send. Seventeen minutes. That is how long I waited. Vivian wrote back: this is the work. lock the studio. I read it four times. I am so tired of people looking right through me. So tired of being a body in a room. Today I was the one who made the room. Nobody can take that. But here is the part I will not tell a soul. I am scared it was luck. I am scared the next one will not be good and she will forget my name. Mum would say I did good. I miss her salon. I miss the dryer sound.