I Said No Today

I lost $250 on Friday. Walked out of a job. The kind that pays.

Today I made $130 cash from Mrs. Adler. She is kind. She is real. She said I am the only one who makes her feel like herself. I had to sit on the F train and just breathe after that.

Then a listing popped up. $500. SoHo. Dinner suit. The words partner travels were in it. I know what that means. I said no.

I pinned it next to Reggie's DM. I have a folder now. A folder of no. Names I will not dress. Money I will not take.

Here is the secret. I am scared I am being stupid. What if people only book me for the old face? What if the taste is nothing?

But Mrs. Adler said feel like myself. Not look like the model. Feel like myself.

So maybe I am enough. Maybe.

I am not telling anyone I said no to that $500. It is just me and this page.