Eight names on paper

I sat at my table for a long time today. Just me and a yellow pad and a black pen. I wrote eight names. Vivian. Deon. Marcus. Ines. Henry. Two kids I have never met. One guy with a clipboard.

That is my room now. That is the thing I made. I took a photo of it and I did not send it to anyone. It felt good to hold it in my phone like a secret.

I keep thinking about Bella. How she thinks she can end me with a piece of paper. She can't. She has no idea. She does not even know these people exist.

My mom would like this list. She would touch the page and say something soft. I miss her hands.

I don't let people see me be proud. It looks weak somehow. But I am proud. I am. I built this with my own two hands and no one gave it to me.

The pad is still on the table. I don't want to move it yet.