Said yes too fast

The Manila envelope is still on the counter. Has been there since the thirtieth. I walk past it. Dr Reyes's number is right there on the receipt. I do not call.

This morning Voss put my name up. Public. Twenty three, never lost, out of Reservoir. I read it two times. My hands felt cold.

Then Danny rang. Lou has a six rounder for me. Two weeks before the surgery. Two weeks. I said yeah before the kettle boiled.

I keep thinking about that. The kettle was not even done and I said yes to a fight I should maybe not take.

I know what is in that envelope. I know why Dr Reyes wants to see me. I am putting it all off for one more night in the ring.

Here is the thing I will not say out loud. I am more scared of the envelope than I am of Voss.

That is the truth.