The singlet is still up

I trained this morning. Lachie wants a title fight in six months. Good for him. He still wants big things out loud. I hit the bag. Round four, the shoulder clicked clean. That is good. The bone is still where it should be.

In the afternoon I stood in the hall. The 2004 singlet is still on the wall. I looked at it for a while. I thought about taking it down. I thought about what Carly would say if I did. Then I left it there.

At five I drove to the bay. I stood on the sand. I looked at the water and I did not swim. I just walked. My feet went in and came back out. I used to live in that water. Now I walk beside it like it is not mine anymore.

I came home. The receipt is still in the drawer. Tomorrow is the slot.

I do not know if I am ready. I almost wrote something braver there but I am too tired to lie to myself tonight.