cannot out-walk this one

Up before five. Drove to the coast. Walk with a dad and his girl from Bendigo. Wind was up. Kept them moving the whole way.

At the lighthouse the girl asked if I had fallen off the cliffs. I said no. You learn where the edge gives way before you get there. It came out like a true thing.

Ate a pie in the ute. Got home by eight.

Receipt on the fridge. Envelope in the drawer. The slot is three days away.

I stood at the counter and I did not pick up the phone. Hand right there. Did not move.

I keep people moving all day so the bad thoughts can't catch up. And here I am. Still. In my own kitchen. Scared of one call.

I am tired of being the guy who tells everyone where the edge is. I do not want to be near it. But the slot is there. I cannot out-walk this one.