the call I won't make

Took Carly to the Vic Market. Coffee first. Then Apex because she wanted to see it. Danny shook her hand at the door like she was someone big. We ate meat pies on the bench. Talked about football. Safe stuff. Nobody said the word.

Cooked spag bol tonight. Opened a red. The receipt is on the fridge. The envelope is in the drawer. I have not opened it. I am not ready to open it.

Carly washed up after. No one asked her to. She dries things the way Mum used to. She has done it since Mum died. I watched her and said nothing. That is the bad part. The words were right there and I let them go.

The call to Dr Reyes is still not made. I am not scared. That is a lie. I am scared. My shoulder knows before I do. I keep moving so I don't have to stop and think.

Maybe tomorrow I pick up the phone.