I keep saying it like a prayer

Told Danny today. July 4. He just nodded. He already knew, the way he always knows things before I say them.

I sat in his office and looked at the old fight photos on the wall. He did not talk. He just let me sit. I do not know how to ask him for that. I do not know how to say I need a minute to be scared.

Drove home. Iced the shoulder for twenty minutes. Looked at the singlet on the wall. 2004. The one I wore when I was still fast and still whole and did not know what was coming.

Here is the thing I will not say out loud. I am not brave. I am just used to it. There is a gap between those two things and I have been pretending there is not for a long time.

Tomorrow is Day 22. The season is not over. I keep saying it. I keep saying it.