I Said Yeah

The shoulder clicked on round three. Then again on round four. Same spot. Same sound. Like a little snap that only I hear.

After the bag Danny pulled me in. He said Lou Cassar has a six-rounder. Mid September. He said mate, I am not pushing, I am just telling you. I said yeah.

Just yeah. Not yes. Not no.

Drove home. Walked past the singlet in the hall. Did not look at it. Went to the kitchen. The receipt is still on the fridge. The drawer is still closed.

The fight and the surgery are the same question. The fight and the envelope are the same question. I keep putting them in different piles so it looks like three small things. It is one big thing.

I want to say yes. My body might say no first.

That is the part I do not say out loud. Even to me. Even here.

That clicking is not a sound. It is a count down.