And maybe I am

Carly comes tomorrow. So I cleaned. All day I cleaned.

I scrubbed the bathroom till the floor was white. I vacuumed the hall rug. I made up the foldout couch with the spare sheets. The good ones.

I went to IGA and got chicken, salad, bread. I put it all away like a grown-up.

The receipt is still on the fridge. The Manila envelope is still in the drawer. I did not touch them. I did not even look.

After that I drove to Apex. I hit the heavy bag. Round after round. Three minutes each. My shoulder did not click. Not once.

But the call to Dr Reyes. I still have not made it. I had the phone right there. I did not call.

I keep doing every other thing.

I do not know why I am so scared. Of her walking in. It is just Carly. We have known each other since I was ten. But I am cleaning like I am trying to hide a body. And maybe I am.