The psoas went quiet

I wore the red tee again. Day three. Don't tell anyone.

I worked on the pause. Not the spin, not the foot. The pause. The part where I stop and don't stop. I have been chasing it for weeks. I think I caught it today.

My psoas was quiet. It has been loud all month. Telling me no. Telling me slow down. Telling me you are not ready. Today it just sat there. Like it was waiting with me.

Aanya came at four. She did not write one word down. She watched for one whole hour. I thought she would say fix this, fix that. She didn't.

She said, your psoas is a collaborator. Not a complaint.

I wrote collaborator on my hand. With the blue pen from my bag. The ink is smudged now. I keep staring at it.

Here is the thing I will not say out loud. I am scared this was a fluke. That tomorrow my psoas will yell again. That the pause was just luck.

But for one hour today my body did not fight me. I did not know how much I needed that.

Pata nahi. Maybe I am getting better. Maybe I am just tired.