My yes had no bones

Priya text came at noon. Come to the studio, she said. I thought it was just chai from the corner. I was so wrong yaar.

She had a big yellow pad. Twelve questions. Each one cut me open. She looked at me and said, you said yes before you knew what you were agreeing to.

I sat on the studio floor. I picked up the chai first. Then the pad. I did not put it down for two hours.

Here is the thing I will not say out loud. I said yes to Bangalore because saying yes felt like who I want to be. Not because I knew why. I wanted to be the girl who says yes. That is so stupid to write down.

Priya made me find the bones. Question by question. By the end I had something real. She said, that is the one you bring.

I feel proud and sick at the same time. I do not know which one to trust.