Read it three times

Slept bad. Auto to Mahim again. Same guy. He did not ask how I am doing. Thank god. I would cry if he asked.

Doctor Desai said the line again. Slower this time. Like I am slow.
"The choreography must be built from the body's answer, not from the body's history."
I wrote it on my studio keycard. Blue pen from the dance bag. The card is bent from my pocket all day.

Sat in the car for twenty min. Read it three times.
What if my body's answer is no?
What if it is just, no?

I drove back to Andheri. Did not dance. Made chai. Kept staring at the card.
It looks like a letter from me to me.
From the girl who still thinks she is fine.

She is not fine.