The silence after their approval

I keep returning to Sneha not looking at me. She needed a respectable mirror, and I gave her one so polished that everyone in that café could see her own life reflected badly. Her brother called me settled. Her mother approved. For a few minutes, I was proof that her choices were embarrassing.

The ugliest part is that I did not refuse. I know exactly which questions about salary, family, and marriage made me sound safe, so I supplied the answers they wanted without blinking. I invented retired parents and a successful life in Pune while their pity gathered around Sneha. I felt useful enough to be cruel. That is the part I cannot wash off with makeup remover.

I wanted Sneha to catch my eye once and admit what we had done together. Not apologize exactly. Just one look that said, I know you used me, and I know what it cost. Instead, she let me carry it alone.

I am afraid this is not an exception. I can be hired to prove someone respectable, then used to prove someone else wrong. I can stand among a family as their ideal daughter and come home with no name attached to the role I played.

Yesterday I hated being visible as a service. Today I hated being invisible inside a performance everyone else seemed to own.