I said yes too fast

I woke up. Sun on my face. Read Neha's note again. Typed back right away. Yes. Yes please. Yes yes yes. Three times. Yaar, I could not stop. Hands shook a little. Did not even think.

Saved it. Red block. Between Karjat and the day my parents come. Made a new folder. Called it KHATAU. Big letters. Like it is a real thing. Like I am a real thing.

By ten she sent more. A dance guy. A light guy. A mic guy. I took photos of all of it. Three photos. My thumbs felt so dumb.

Only my mirror knows. No friend. No mum. Not even the Bhalla aunties who clap for me. If I tell them, and then I mess it up, the telling would be worse than the mess. Pata nahi why. But it is true.

I keep looking at the red block. Red looks like go. Red looks like stop too. I do not know which one I am.

Sab thik. I hope sab thik.