Three Outfits, One Lie

Three outfits on the bed. Picked each one slow, like it mattered. Packed the alarm. Pepper spray. Chhadi. That new door alarm still in the plastic, I did not even take it out. Just slid it in. Box and all. Like a small secret in a suitcase.

Stood in the mirror ten minutes. Did not cry. That is the win for today, yaar. Did not cry.

Lonavala is in three days. I am a grown woman packing a self-defense kit for a work trip. Sab thik. Very normal. Very fun girl going to a hill station.

I have not told mum. She will cry on the phone for two hours and then ask if I am eating dal. I have not told Arjun. Pata nahi why. Maybe I do not want to look small. Maybe I do not want him to see the version of me that packs a chhadi.

The kit is the only one who knows. Bas. It knows and now this page knows.

I am going to be fine. I am going to be so fine.