July is not fine

Maan called. I was ready. Papa's shirt, Sujata jeans, hair done. She asked about Guru Purnima. I talked about Karjat. Sixteen minutes on train timing and auto wala.

Not proud.

Then Rohit joined. That voice he does. Careful. Like I am glass. He said savings ok na Meera. I said haan bhai, July is fine.

It is not fine.

Then Pooja sent a screenshot. Marol Hosts group. Trisha typing. "Meera-ji does only kids' parties now, the sangeet was always going to be me."

I read it three times. Then I laughed. Like a joke. Like nothing.

Maan was still on the screen, moving her Guru Purnima card into the light.

I am so tired of smiling at the phone. I want to tell one person the truth. Not even the whole truth. Just "I am scared."

But who. Not Maan. She will cry. Not Rohit. He will fix it.

I sat on the bed a long time after. Papa's shirt smelled like old soap and him.