Daria's diary

20Sep

Pieter sent his hand

The bag is quiet now. I can hear the bakkie ticking in the driveway, cooling down, and the bag is quiet. She has stopped rolling. I don't know if that is good o…

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19Sep

Owed more than money

Took the female out into the yard this morning. Not for release — told myself I was checking her container, water dish, the humidity reading. I sat on the step…

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18Sep

Blood on the Cufflink

He knew where to put his hand. That is the part I keep replaying. Not that he stepped into the road — that is just stupid men being stupid. He saw the bandage,…

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17Sep

The card is in my pocket

The card is in my pocket. That is the first thing I have to say and it has been the first thing in my pocket all day. I walked ten metres with my bleeding right…

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16Sep

Still antiseptic

The shoulder is what I keep checking. I lift my arm slowly in the kitchen and wait for the pull and there it is — that mean little line from the joint down to w…

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15Sep

Dad's first name in print

The form. That is what I keep coming back to. I thought I was going to lose the bag. I had already braced for the bag, and then he handed me a piece of paper an…

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14Sep

Pinned under glass

I fed the females today. Mealworms, one each. Watched the smaller one lunge and miss and lunge again. I respect the persistence. I think I have been thinking ab…

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13Sep

Sore hand, loud head

Sorted the stock this morning. Lost count at nineteen, started over. The Uroplectes were restless from the overnight heat — two males tapping the glass like the…

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12Sep

Wikus came with coffee and sold me

He came with the thermos again. Same Wikus, same printout, same careful little knock at 06:30 like he was bringing communion. I opened the gate. I always open t…

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11Sep

The Number On Top

The number at the top of the printout is what got me. Not the laughers. Three strangers at a bowser, I can sort them. One was already on his phone. One had a ki…

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10Sep

Who put my name up

The rack was open all night. I closed it at 02:00 without looking in. That is a lie — I stood at the doorframe and watched the zip seam in the dark until I was…

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9Sep

Clean shirt, longer lens

I beat him to the playground. I want to say that first because it is the part I am proudest of, and proudest is the part I should not be. Pieter got out of the…

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8Sep

sixteen, his pencil, the watch

His cousin. The one who called me little D. The one who held me on his knee at braais until I was too long for it and kept doing it because he thought it was fu…

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7Sep

Not Driving Tonight

I am not driving tonight. First night in eight I have not packed the kit. The torch strap sits crooked on the Velcro and my thumb is still half-closed from the…

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6Sep

Next of kin I didn't ask for

The cousin's name is on that form. I read it three times before I could say it in my own head without my mouth going dry. He put my name down. He sat at a typew…

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5Sep

Two Things Face Down on the Bedside

The Jiffy bag was hand-delivered. That is the part that sticks in my teeth. Anyone could have posted it. They chose to put a person at my gate at 07:12. Father'…

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4Sep

The museum gets another piece

The quiet days are the worst sometimes. The loud nights in the Karoo with the UV torch and the hiss in the jar — those I know what to do with. Today the house w…

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3Sep

Both kinds of cornered

The adder is sealed in the back room and I can hear her breathing if I stand still. Slow. She is not panicking. She almost took my boot tonight and now she is c…

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2Sep

Cold mug on the table

I did not drink the tea. The mug is on the table this morning, cold, with a skin on top. I looked at it when I came in from brushing my teeth. I thought: that's…

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1Sep

The tea is not about the tea

I did not sign the page. I want that on the record before the day eats it. The pen is still in my jacket pocket. It will stay there. Quiet day. I cleaned the ho…

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31Aug

The page I would not sign

The order is closed. Three snakes out, one cheque in, my name on it. That is on the chair next to the phone I have not picked up. I did not sign the page. That…

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30Aug

Two complaints, one pin drop

The man again. Worcester this morning. He was in Clanwilliam last week and now he is here and tomorrow he will be at a Citrusdal garage waiting for me to follow…

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29Aug

Three injuries, no mirror

I did not look. That is the thing I keep coming back to. I drove two hours with blood running into the corner of my eye and down my neck and I did not look once…

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28Aug

Three centimetres of window

The gash is still bleeding through the sleeve. Six centimetres is not a lot. The window I rolled down for Pieter Viviers was three centimetres. He did not lean…

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27Aug

Two bruises, one borrowed voice

The farmer grabbed my elbow. His hands were the size of dinner plates and the bruise is already purple under the hot water. I keep doing arithmetic I did not as…

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26Aug

Three short and the joh

The assistant's hand was on my waist for half a second longer than a count and I stepped out of reach without turning my head. That is the only move I made righ…

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25Aug

His hand on the frame

The cologne was still in the cab when I parked. I sat for a minute, windows down, letting the Cederberg air try to fight it. It lost. A man leaned into my windo…

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24Aug

Two things dripping

He said it loud. Klein-Bokkeveld girl, in front of his cellar hands, like he was reading a label off a bottle. I did not flinch. My face is good at not flinchin…

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23Aug

Coordinates of something not opened

No run tonight. No run tomorrow either, maybe, because I haven't decided, and the not-deciding is its own decision and I know that and I'm doing it anyway. The…

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22Aug

Still not opening it

I finished the relabeling. Both of them. The corrected labels look exactly like the labels I would have written if I had been paying attention the first time. N…

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