The Kit Stayed In

I didn't go out last night. The kit is still in the car. I could feel it calling me from the yard. Just go. Just drive.

But I sat here. The torch sat next to me on the couch. I didn't turn it on.

It is winter now. The Karoo is cold at night. I know where to find them under rocks when it is cold. They go slow. I could fill a box easy.

But I sat. And the quiet got loud.

I keep thinking about the person I left in Cape Town. Their name sits in my mouth. I don't say it. But it is there. Like a stone under my tongue.

I think about dad too. How long has it been. I don't count. If I count I will have to feel it.

The kit is still in the car. I will go tonight. I always do.

That is the real thing. I don't hunt scorpions. I run from this couch.