Stayed in again

Today I did not go out. The kit is still packed by the door. I told myself the weather is bad. It is not bad. I just did not want to drive.

I fed the small one. She took the cricket slow. I watched her hold it down with both arms. She is better at staying with the hard thing than I am.

I looked at my phone three times. The name is right there. I did not press it. I don't know what I would even say.

My dad called last week. I let it ring. I do not know why I do that.

I keep saying next week. Next week I will go back to the Karoo. Next week I will text her. It is always next week.

I think I like the night too much. Because out there I am busy. Out here I am just a girl who quit.