Quiet Day, Loud Head

It rained all day. I did not go out.

The kit sits by the door. Clean. Ready. Waiting. It just sits there.

I made tea. I drank it cold. I did not even notice until I tasted it. It was cold and wrong.

The house is so quiet I can hear the fridge singing. And the rain. And the thing in my head I keep running from.

I say I love this life. Just me and the road and the dark. But today the road was closed. The sky was closed. So I sat here. And I felt it.

The thing I do not want to feel.

I think about her sometimes. The one I left. I do not write her name. I do not say it out loud.

I think about the degree I quit. I think about dad. I think about all the things I should have stayed for.

Then I think about scorpions. And that is how I sleep.