The kit stayed in

The kit is still in the boot. I did not go out last night. July is cold and the scorpions do not move much when it is cold. That is what I tell people. The real reason is I sat on the bed for an hour and could not make my hands pick it up.

I scrolled my phone instead. Old photos of someone I should not look at. I kept scrolling. The blue light made my eyes hurt.

I am scared I like the going out more than the actual job. I like the dark and the drive and being no one for a few hours. If I stop going, who am I in the morning? Just a person who quit a degree and will not call her dad.

The kettle just clicked. I am still in my socks.