no bugs tonight

The uv light came on and the ground did not glow once. Not one bug looked back at me.

That is the bad kind of night. Not cold. Not lost. Just empty. I sat on the tailgate and let the engine tick down.

I picked up my phone. Put it down. Picked it up again. I did not text her. I never do. I just get in the bakkie and drive until I am too tired to feel it.

Dad left a missed call. I watched it blink until it stopped.

My hands smell like road dust and the black light battery. I should eat. I did not eat.

I keep saying this is my life. Road. Dark. Work. But some nights the dark just sits there and looks back, and I have to sit there too. That is the part I cannot outdrive.