Already packing the kit

Today was slow. I sat by the window most of the day. My phone was right next to me. I picked it up three times. I put it down three times. I did not call him.

I made tea. I did not drink it. It went cold on the table.

I keep thinking about the person I left in Cape Town. I keep not saying their name out loud. Even here. Even to myself.

I checked the kit in the boot. Torch. Bottles. UV light. It is all there. I tell myself I go out at night for the money. That is not the whole truth.

The truth is the dark is easier than this room. The dark does not ask me anything.

I quit a degree. I do not talk to my dad. I left someone who was good to me. And I catch scorpions for a living. Some days I think that is a very long way to go just to be too tired to feel things.