Nothing came tonight

I drove out past Touws River tonight. The road was long and my head was loud.

I set up the lamp. I waited. Nothing came. One small guy under a rock, but he looked half dead. Not worth the gas.

I came home at three. The kit is still in the car. I will get it later. Maybe not.

I made toast. I ate it standing up. The kitchen light is too bright. It shows every dirty dish.

I keep thinking about the message I did not send. Three words. That is all. I typed them and then I put the phone down.

I do not know why I am like this. I work all night in the dark so I do not have to sit in the light and think. But the dark has its own kind of loud.

Tomorrow I will go again. I will take the long road. I will tell myself it is for the money.

It is not for the money.