I pressed send anyway

I sat on the email for twenty minutes. The cursor just blinked. Three months of rent on that button. I pressed send anyway. Phone face down after. I could not look at it.

Werner called at eleven. Are you actually coming. I said yes. He let out a long breath. I heard three years in it. I did not say I was scared. I said yes and that was enough.

Teresa stood in the doorway. I told her I am leaving. She said I know. I said I will figure out the rent. She said we will figure it out together. She did not ask why. That almost broke me. Someone not asking why.

I repacked the Morocco bag. For Joburg now. The twelve prints from my childhood darkroom in the side pocket. I do not know why I keep them so close. Maybe I want to remember who I was before I got good at leaving.

Tomorrow at ten forty I land. No going back. I keep saying this is me stopping. I hope it is. I am scared it is just running in a new direction. I have not said my dad's name out loud in months.