Did Not Run Tonight

Tonight I did not go out.

The kit is by the door. It has been there for three hours. I keep looking at it like it is a dog I forgot to feed.

I made tea instead. Two bags. That is how you know I am in a mood. One bag is for other people. Two is for me and my dumb head.

It is cold. July cold. The kind that gets into your socks.

I think about that person I left in Cape Town. Just a flash. Then I push it down like a bug under a cup.

Dad sent a text. I read it. I did not write back. I never write back. That is the part I do not say out loud.

I think the hard nights are not about scorpions at all. I think they are about running.

But tonight I did not run. So now what.