Don't Tell Mum

The café was quiet today. The Moleskine stayed shut. I just sat with tea going cold.

Then a woman walked over. She said she saw me at Cadogan Hall. Third row. She knew the car park bit.

I have not done the car park bit live. I have barely said it out loud.

She said ring her in September. She gave me a card. My hand felt funny.

I walked back to the B&B. Mum was there. She asked how my day was. I said I had a nice chat about books.

I did not show her the card.

I am on the bed now. Shoes still on. The card is in my coat. I keep touching my pocket to make sure it is real.

I do not know how to want something this much and be this scared at the same time.

I will ring her in September. I think. Maybe.