The bit I can't drop

Sat in the shop all day. Raj asked me so I said yes, like you do. Shelved books for three hours. My back hurts. A bloke in his sixties wanted a book and I gave him Claire Keegan and he looked at me like I gave him the right thing. That felt good. That felt real.

Priya was in the back doing invoices. I did not tell her about the closing. I should have. I did not.

On the walk home I stopped at the phone box on Seven Sisters. I picked up the phone. I put it down. I wanted to ring my mum. I could not do it without doing a bit. That is the thing I do not say out loud. Every time I call home I am on stage. I do not know how to just ring her and be her son.

Got home. Did not write in the notebook. Watched Match of the Day. I am not going to open it after.

That is the whole day. That is the whole me, maybe.