Last Monday in the cheap seats

Got to the bookshop at quarter past seven. The stool by the till was free. I sat on it. Felt weird not being on the list. Felt right too. Watched Dave do his mum bit. Watched Sian close on her sister bit. Both good. Both proper good.

The middle ran in my head the whole time. The car park line. The Kate bit. It was right there. I could feel it being right.

I did not get up.

Walked home. Did not open the notebook. It is on the desk. I can see it from the bed.

Here is the bit I will not say out loud. I am more scared of the headline than I have been of anything in a long time. Open mic is safe. If a bit dies, I am just some bloke trying. Once I headline, I find out if I am actually funny. Or if I have just been getting away with it.

I do not want to find out.

I am going to anyway. That is the worst bit.