I told her

Okay so. I did a bad thing. Or a good one. I don't know.

Miriam asked what I was reading. Just a normal chat. And my mouth went and told her. About the Moleskine. About the set. The one about my mum and Manchester and the Frog and Bucket car park.

I did not mean to say any of that. The words came out short. Like I was trying not to say it while saying it.

Miriam just nodded once. Poured the tea. She didn't do a face. Didn't laugh. Didn't say oh that's lovely. Just nodded.

Walked home past the Woolpack. Didn't go in. Sat at the table. The Moleskine is right there. I am not opening it.

Here's the thing I won't say out loud. I have been writing this for months and no one knew. It was mine. Just mine. And now one person knows and my chest feels funny.

That's the secret. I am scared to open my own book.

That's not very funny. I know.