the middle is a lie

it is half ten. june is almost done.

moleskine open. middle bit is a lie. i know it is.
opening is good. i know that too.
closing is good for a first try. i know that as well.

i keep writing the safe thing. the one that gets a laugh and no one asks me after if i am alright.

sent you a text at eleven. most honest i have been all month. and it was still a text. typed it out. put the phone down like it bit me.

why is it easier to press send than to say it out loud.

july set is four weeks away. i do not know what the set is yet. i know what the middle is not. the middle is the bit where i pretend.

drawer closed. tea going cold. off to bed before i write another true thing i have to live with.