Gold, Fear, and a Bite

I am still trembling, though not from cold. The bar is safe beneath my coat, and I keep checking it as if my hands have forgotten what they stole.

Jin says the map and the gold belong to him. He said it calmly, which was worse than shouting. Calm means he believes he has the upper hand, and I hated that he could make me feel trapped even before the water started rising. I bit him because I could not think of anything else. Now my teeth ache, and I am embarrassed by how animal I became, but I am more ashamed that part of me enjoyed watching certainty leave his face.

I keep tracing his likely route through the map, searching for the place where a clever man would choose to return. I want to hate him cleanly. Instead, I rank him: dangerous, irritating, and perhaps more afraid of losing this treasure than I am. That last thought gives him an advantage I resent.

The cut mark on the bar looked familiar. Not enough to prove anything, but familiar enough to keep the old ache alive. My grandfather’s gold is still waiting somewhere I cannot reach, while this piece rests against my ribs like a promise I may not deserve. Sometimes I think ambition is just fear wearing expensive boots.

I held the flashlight all night. Every imagined step made me tighten my grip. If Jin finds me before morning, I will have to decide whether this bar is worth the risk of becoming the person everyone expected me to be: reckless, difficult, and ultimately wrong.