Two Words Back

It is late. I am so tired.

Tonight I poured champagne for the Lotte people. Twenty four tables. The east wing coat. Not my usual one. It smelled like someone else's day.

All night I smiled. Smiled and smiled.

Then at 11:38 a text came. The 21st floor wanted Ji-woo. By name. For the eleven o'clock drop off. She is only twenty two.

I typed two words back.

I am not going to tell you what I typed. My hands were not steady.

Here is the thing I keep thinking. I could have been at one of those tables tonight. I picked this. I picked the tray. I picked the smile. Most days it is fine. Most days it is even good.

But tonight, after the lights went down, I sat in the staff room and I felt so small.

The printed schedule was right. Cha was not. I will take the small win.

My feet hurt. The sky notebook is still in my bag.