I pressed send

I ate cold rabokki standing up. Didn't even sit down. Just stood there at the counter with my phone in my hand.

The picture was open for an hour. My face. In a panel. I kept zooming in on my own eyes. Do I really look like that? Do I want someone to see me like that?

Then I pressed send. And ate another bite. And waited.

The reply came and I put the phone down. Face down. Walked to the window. Same thing I did on June 2nd when they asked about the rain.

Aigoo. I am so tired of being the safe one. Jinjja.

I went down to the stairwell. Recorded a voice note in my own hallway like a weirdo. Said I think I am ready. Said I am afraid. Both at the same time. Both real.

The fairy lights are on. My plants are fine. Nobody knows what I did tonight.