the unsaid line

I saw my name on a paper today. My name. On a program. Mrs. Cho made the folder in her careful letters. Homeroom Teacher, it said. Right there, like I belong.

Aigoo. I am a kindergarten teacher. I water small things all day. Tae-oh drew me in a blue dress. I am holding a watering can. I do not look like that. But I am that.

I sent the picture to someone. I wrote: this is the truest one of me this year. I did not write the next line. The next line is too much. It is: which one of me are you still holding? The small one? The tired one? The one who wonders if she picked right?

My sister has a desk at a big company. My name is on a graduation program. Both are real. One is louder.

I watered my plants when I got home. The fairy lights were on. I think Tae-oh knows me better than I do.