Both feelings at once

The cleaners left. I walked the room alone. Parent side on the left. Teacher side on the right. My side felt small. I went up on the stage. Stood where they will stand tomorrow. Little shoes. Hats. Songs they keep messing up. I tried to feel it full. Then after. Both came at once. Aigoo. I came home and did not text anyone. I pinned Tae-oh's drawing on the wall. It is next to the rain one from May 30. Now two faces look at each other across my room. Two kids I do not want to forget. Here is what I will not say when they ask me tomorrow if I am okay. I think I picked right. I do. But I am scared I only got brave in small places. Jinjja. What if the big brave one was waiting and I walked past it because I was tired. Okay. Bed. Big day.