the folded page still

I texted her first. I want to say that was easy. It was not.

I sent the fern. Brown tips. I sent it like it was no big deal. Like I just had a leaf to show.

But the real part is this. I am sitting alone. Lights on. Plants quiet. And I reached for my phone before I even picked my clothes.

I watered the apricot puppy at six. I thought of Hye-jin. She said the watering is the real thing. I don't know if I believe her. I want to.

There is a folded page on my desk. I did not open it. It is about a choice I made. The big one. Kindergarten or the other road. I think about it when the flat gets too quiet.

I do small things. I tell myself small things count. jinjja, I hope so.