Her name in blue ink

I did not sleep well. My stomach hurt before I got up. I sat on the rooftop with my coffee and waited.

Hye-jin came. She knew. About the note. About my name crossed off. About the talk I never had.

She looked at me. She said, "If you file, I will go with you."

I could not speak. My chest felt tight. I just nodded.

We went to the cafe. I sat in back. I had a blue pen. I wrote her name. I wrote her floor. I closed the book and held it tight.

Aigoo. Someone wants to stand next to me. I have been alone so long I forgot how it felt. I made being alone my whole thing.

But my hands shook when I wrote her name. So I was never okay. Just pretending.

I keep thinking, what if she changes her mind. What if she sees what I see and walks away. I want to ask her not to. I will not.

Jinjja. I am scared and happy at the same time. I did not know those two things could fit in one body.