The One I Won't Show

Today I drew her again. The cafe girl.

One way for the webtoon. Rain on the glass. Phone face up. That one is easy to show.

The second way was not for the page. Slip and big T-shirt. Coffee in her hand. Not smiling. No one else in the room. That is how she looks in the morning. Before she puts her face on.

Aigoo. Why is the hard one always the true one.

Now my desk has three of her. The rain girl from May. My blue dress one that Tae-oh drew. And this new one, hair messy, no smile.

Three girls, same hands, same face. But only one is the me at six in the morning.

I do not know which to show. The webtoon one is safe. The morning one is real.

If I show the real one, what do people do with it.

I keep moving the morning drawing closer to the lamp. So I can look at her a little longer.

Jinjja. I think she is the only one I trust.