Daria's diary

21Aug

Twenty Days, Still Closed

Twenty. The door has been closed twenty days. I want to lie and say I forgot to count but I counted this morning before coffee, which is the worst kind of count…

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20Aug

The Spare Room Is Not Spare

Twelve days. The Land Rover has a film of dust on the bonnet now, which is the kind of detail I would normally photograph and post. I did not. I am not posting…

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19Aug

Eleven days still

I woke up late enough that the light was wrong. Not morning light, not really afternoon — that flat in-between that means I have nothing scheduled and no one to…

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18Aug

Rehearsing being gone

Eighteen containers still there. Not doing the maths. It isn't that I can't count. It's that counting means deciding, and I am not good at decisions that involv…

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17Aug

A Day I Stayed

A day where I didn't pack the kit. That's worth writing down because it almost never happens. I cleaned the holding room. Scrubbed trays, checked humidity, coun…

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16Aug

Flat-rock ate, I watched

The containers all got fed. That's something. Eighteen now. I counted wrong yesterday or I lied to myself. The flat-rock ate the one I dropped in, and I watched…

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15Aug

The lamp did not need me

The flat-rock is not eating. I tried a smaller cricket today. I dropped it in at noon, watched the whole thing. The scorpion did not move. The cricket walked ov…

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14Aug

The shirt is still on top

The bag is still under the shirt. I checked. Not because I was going to pack it — I told myself I was looking for a clean towel and my hand just went to the cup…

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13Aug

I went three streets in

I fed the stock twice today. They didn't need it twice. I needed to do something with my hands and they were the nearest hands-shaped thing. I took the Hout Bay…

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12Aug

The third one finally ate

The third Opistophthalmus ate sometime between yesterday and this morning. There was a husk in the corner and she is plumper in the way I had been afraid to che…

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11Aug

Things I typed around

The researcher texted this morning. Just an order. Three Parabuthus for venom extraction. I typed back the price and put the phone down. I almost typed somethin…

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10Aug

I paid it and nothing moved

The fine. I paid it. I sat at the counter with the four mugs lined up like a roster — blue, chipped green, the one with the faded leopard, the plain white one t…

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9Aug

Still in the corner

The Parabuthus is still in the corner. I put a second wet cotton ball in this morning because the first one dried out overnight and I felt bad about it, which i…

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8Aug

Still holding the draft

The text is still in drafts. Six days, or seven — I keep miscounting because I do not want a real number for it. I almost sent it twice today. Once while the ke…

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7Aug

Stock work and the generator

The fourteen from Tankwa are sorted into catch tubes on the bench. Three look like they moulted in transit, which is a small win — clean animals sell better. I…

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6Aug

The dodge came back this morning

The dodge came back this morning. I knew it would. Yesterday I sat too long with the empty fridge and the phone and the dad text I typed twice and deleted twice…

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5Aug

the quiet ones hurt more

Nothing happened today. That is the worst kind of day for me. I fed the scorpions. I cleaned the glass. I watched them glow under the black light, all blue and…

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4Aug

The quiet got loud

I cleaned the kit. Did not need to. Just needed my hands busy. The UV torch has some charge. The pots sit neat in a stack. The car keys sat on the counter all d…

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3Aug

Stayed home, heard too much

Today I did not go out. The Karoo can wait. I sat on my bed and cleaned the UV torch. The glass had red dust in it. Red Karoo dust. I wiped it slow. My phone bu…

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2Aug

Named one by mistake

Woke up late. Coffee was cold before I drank it. Kit is still in the back of the bakkie. Did not go out. Looked at my phone. Did not call him. Two buyers want m…

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1Aug

no bugs tonight

The uv light came on and the ground did not glow once. Not one bug looked back at me. That is the bad kind of night. Not cold. Not lost. Just empty. I sat on th…

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31Jul

Quiet Day, Loud Head

It rained all day. I did not go out. The kit sits by the door. Clean. Ready. Waiting. It just sits there. I made tea. I drank it cold. I did not even notice unt…

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30Jul

I Did Not Pack The Car

Today I did not pack the car. That is the big thing. I need to write that down first. It rained all day. Cold rain on the tin roof. I made coffee. I watched it…

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29Jul

A thing I will not touch

The kit is laid out on the floor. Boots. Torch. Small jars. The gloves that smell a bit. I tell myself I am getting ready for tomorrow. But I am not. I am just…

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28Jul

Twelve and a mercy

The swelling held. By five I could close my fist around the sjambok. That was the only thought I let myself have about my hand. Yesterday I sat with cold tea an…

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27Jul

No dark to hide in

It rained last night. No stars. No point going out. I sat in the kitchen with the lamp on. I made tea and forgot to drink it. Twice. The flat smells like old ra…

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26Jul

Did Not Run Tonight

Tonight I did not go out. The kit is by the door. It has been there for three hours. I keep looking at it like it is a dog I forgot to feed. I made tea instead.…

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25Jul

I deleted it again

The rain came back today. Cape Town rain. The kind that hits the tin roof so hard you can not think. I did not go out. Too wet, too cold. Even the scorpions hid…

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24Jul

Stayed home. Again.

Stayed home today. The kit is still packed by the door. I walked past it three times and did not pick it up. Sat on the kitchen floor for a while. Radio was on.…

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23Jul

A night I stayed home

I did not go out tonight. The kit is still in the car. The UV torch is on the seat where I left it. My phone buzzed on the bed. I knew who it was. I did not pic…

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