Meera's diary

19Aug

She saw me at the counter

I bought that SIM thinking I was smart. Cash, no card, no trail. Hoodie up, cap low, early morning rush at Andheri — nobody looks at a tired girl buying a Jio.…

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13Aug

The main number is not mine

The main number is not mine anymore. That's the sentence that hasn't left. Not the deeper neckline line — I can hear that line when I want to and I have been he…

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12Aug

Closer to yes than sunrise

The fixer's grammar reads like a script I was handed to calm myself down. Your driver may wait at the gate. We will not approach your door. Two sentences of rea…

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11Aug

Someone has read me

The Karjat staircase. I haven't written it. I haven't said it out loud in any form that could be screenshotted. Whoever that handle is, they got it from me, or…

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10Aug

The jar I will not open

I typed Rohit's name into the DM box. I wrote: "Rohit, it's Meera. Take it down." Six words. Then I wrote a longer version about how he once told me he liked wo…

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9Aug

Three rooms I'm not in

Three rooms. My name in three rooms I am not standing in. Ritu called at eleven to warn me the Delhi builder — Dhruv — had asked her for an August mehfil quote…

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8Aug

Don't go, take it out

Ritu said "don't go" twice. The first time I thought she meant the farmhouse. The second time I realized she meant me. She has planned weddings for twelve years…

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7Aug

The Bathroom Vada Pav

The vada pav. I want to remember the vada pav. Suresh pulled up at the cafe and I ate it in the bathroom with the door locked and my phone face down. I was not…

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5Aug

Bought a SIM in Cash

Bought a fresh Jio SIM in cash. Six hundred rupees. Andheri counter. The man behind the glass did not look at my face. The bravest sentence I wrote today came f…

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4Aug

Mummy Knew. I Lied Anyway.

Mummy called today. Sunday. I knew from her first hello what was coming. I sat on the kitchen counter. The door alarm is still in plastic at my feet. I did not…

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3Aug

do hazaar ka hisaab

chai nahi aayi doosri. pehle woh aa gaya. adi. jis ko maine do hazaar diye the july mein. apna kaam nahi nikalwa paaya tha toh uspe taras khaaya tha. yaar main…

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2Aug

the clip he made me rewatch

Heena ki voice note auto ke peeche se, BKC ka traffic, "Kabir, Antop Hill, third year". I wrote it down before the auto even turned. Folding the 2024 release in…

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1Aug

dupatta on the chair

woke up at 8:47 and my life split into before and after. DM from a name i don't save. thirty-eight seconds of me laughing at the bandra mehfil. dupatta half a c…

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31Jul

Still in the plastic

The little mermaid grabbed my dupatta and I let her. Twenty minutes. I built the magic trick around her grip. I crouched, I stretched, I turned the silk into a…

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30Jul

I deleted the post

Today I sat in the kitchen a long time. I wrote a big post about hands on my waist and wooden bars I held. My fingers shook. I looked at it one minute. Then I d…

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29Jul

I Made My World Small

Meenal said his name first. I almost dropped my cold coffee, yaar. He is on two more lists. August. Lonavala side. Big rooms. Loud rooms. The kind where I would…

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28Jul

Receipt on the floor, draft in the bin

Woke up on the kitchen tiles and the first thing I did was check if my knees were cold. They weren't. The chhadi was folded on the counter above me and I don't…

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26Jul

Seen. No reply.

Third sangeet night. The bride asked for a slow song. I did it for her. The nani cried again. She held my hand after and said beta you have a gift. I gave her t…

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25Jul

The envelope I never saw

Second sangeet night. I was good. The room loved me, I think. Between songs I went for water. Dim end of the corridor. Karan was there. Envelope in his hand, no…

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24Jul

Something at the bar

Six numbers done. Room was on fire. Bride's ma danced with her papa and I almost cried on mic. Held it. I am a pro. Sab thik. But yaar. Between the second and t…

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23Jul

He asked. I lied.

Today Faisal leaned in. White shirt. He asked me if I host private events. I said no. I used my cold voice yaar, the one that means stop. Good. But here is the…

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22Jul

I packed the bag anyway

AC is dead. Just clattering. Lonavala paper still on the counter, coffee went cold next to it. Very heroine of me. Called Trupti at eleven. Yaar, I used my good…

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21Jul

Three Outfits, One Lie

Three outfits on the bed. Picked each one slow, like it mattered. Packed the alarm. Pepper spray. Chhadi. That new door alarm still in the plastic, I did not ev…

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20Jul

Two Envelopes and One Chhadi

yaar i am still shaking. the bride's mum cried at my second number. she really cried. hands on her mouth. the whole room saw it. i kept going. that is the job.…

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19Jul

the boy held my skirt

today a small boy held my skirt the whole magic show. he was scared of the magic man. i just did the show with him behind me. my eyes went wet. i don't know why…

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18Jul

Still In Plastic

The chhadi is on the counter. The bag is packed. The alarm is still in plastic. I asked one simple thing today. Is there a room for us away from the guests? Fou…

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17Jul

I didn't send it

Signed the contract. Did not send the note. That is the whole day, yaar. I sat with the laptop open for hours. Gate open only if needed. Driver on call. No film…

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16Jul

Sab thik, my foot

The fan is loud. Chhadi still on counter from morning. I did not even make chai. Trupti read four terms. Gate open. Driver on call. No film in main hall. Leave…

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15Jul

Two Hundred People Watching

He followed me to the stairs. Navy suit. Big man. He said my mic was too loud in front of everyone. Two hundred people. I just stood there and smiled. Smile, sm…

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14Jul

she picked me anyway

The call was at 11. Ritu was on time. I sat on my bed with my phone and my coffee and I was shaking. Pata nahi why. It is just a call. She said my rate. No figh…

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