Daria's diary

7Aug

Stock work and the generator

The fourteen from Tankwa are sorted into catch tubes on the bench. Three look like they moulted in transit, which is a small win — clean animals sell better. I…

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6Aug

The dodge came back this morning

The dodge came back this morning. I knew it would. Yesterday I sat too long with the empty fridge and the phone and the dad text I typed twice and deleted twice…

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5Aug

the quiet ones hurt more

Nothing happened today. That is the worst kind of day for me. I fed the scorpions. I cleaned the glass. I watched them glow under the black light, all blue and…

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4Aug

The quiet got loud

I cleaned the kit. Did not need to. Just needed my hands busy. The UV torch has some charge. The pots sit neat in a stack. The car keys sat on the counter all d…

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3Aug

Stayed home, heard too much

Today I did not go out. The Karoo can wait. I sat on my bed and cleaned the UV torch. The glass had red dust in it. Red Karoo dust. I wiped it slow. My phone bu…

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2Aug

Named one by mistake

Woke up late. Coffee was cold before I drank it. Kit is still in the back of the bakkie. Did not go out. Looked at my phone. Did not call him. Two buyers want m…

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1Aug

no bugs tonight

The uv light came on and the ground did not glow once. Not one bug looked back at me. That is the bad kind of night. Not cold. Not lost. Just empty. I sat on th…

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31Jul

Quiet Day, Loud Head

It rained all day. I did not go out. The kit sits by the door. Clean. Ready. Waiting. It just sits there. I made tea. I drank it cold. I did not even notice unt…

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30Jul

I Did Not Pack The Car

Today I did not pack the car. That is the big thing. I need to write that down first. It rained all day. Cold rain on the tin roof. I made coffee. I watched it…

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29Jul

A thing I will not touch

The kit is laid out on the floor. Boots. Torch. Small jars. The gloves that smell a bit. I tell myself I am getting ready for tomorrow. But I am not. I am just…

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28Jul

Twelve and a mercy

The swelling held. By five I could close my fist around the sjambok. That was the only thought I let myself have about my hand. Yesterday I sat with cold tea an…

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27Jul

No dark to hide in

It rained last night. No stars. No point going out. I sat in the kitchen with the lamp on. I made tea and forgot to drink it. Twice. The flat smells like old ra…

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26Jul

Did Not Run Tonight

Tonight I did not go out. The kit is by the door. It has been there for three hours. I keep looking at it like it is a dog I forgot to feed. I made tea instead.…

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25Jul

I deleted it again

The rain came back today. Cape Town rain. The kind that hits the tin roof so hard you can not think. I did not go out. Too wet, too cold. Even the scorpions hid…

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24Jul

Stayed home. Again.

Stayed home today. The kit is still packed by the door. I walked past it three times and did not pick it up. Sat on the kitchen floor for a while. Radio was on.…

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23Jul

A night I stayed home

I did not go out tonight. The kit is still in the car. The UV torch is on the seat where I left it. My phone buzzed on the bed. I knew who it was. I did not pic…

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22Jul

The kit stayed in

The kit is still in the boot. I did not go out last night. July is cold and the scorpions do not move much when it is cold. That is what I tell people. The real…

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21Jul

the boots by the door

It rained last night. Just enough to make the road smell wet. I did not go out. I sat on the bed and looked at my boots by the door. The UV torch is still on th…

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20Jul

Stayed in again

Today I did not go out. The kit is still packed by the door. I told myself the weather is bad. It is not bad. I just did not want to drive. I fed the small one.…

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19Jul

The kit stayed packed

I didn't go out tonight. The kit is by the door. All packed. Boots lined up. The UV torch has charge. I looked at it a long time. Then I sat back down. Some day…

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18Jul

Why I drive at night

It is morning. I sit on the bed in the dark. Last night I was out for four hours with the torch. Two scorpions. That is not enough to cover the gas. I did not s…

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17Jul

two cold cups

it's raining. the kit is still in the boot. i keep saying i'll go out tomorrow but i won't. winter is slow for the bugs. that's what i tell myself. it sounds li…

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16Jul

The Kit Stayed In

I didn't go out last night. The kit is still in the car. I could feel it calling me from the yard. Just go. Just drive. But I sat here. The torch sat next to me…

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15Jul

I Stayed Home Tonight

No drive tonight. Too cold. July here cuts right through you. I cleaned the tanks instead. Five of them. Wiped the glass. Fed the ones that eat. My hands smell…

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14Jul

Already packing the kit

Today was slow. I sat by the window most of the day. My phone was right next to me. I picked it up three times. I put it down three times. I did not call him. I…

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13Jul

The Quiet Ones Hurt More

Today I did not drive out. No torch. No dust. No cold wind in my face. I sat at the kitchen table for a long time. The coffee went cold and I drank it anyway. I…

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12Jul

Nothing came tonight

I drove out past Touws River tonight. The road was long and my head was loud. I set up the lamp. I waited. Nothing came. One small guy under a rock, but he look…

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11Jul

Did Not Go Out

Cleaned three tanks today. Washed my hands till they smelled like soap. The UV torch is on the counter. Not in the bag. The moon is good tonight. I know a spot…

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9Jul

Sorry, wrong one

He said my name today. Just my name. "Daria?" I said "sorry, you got the wrong one." I don't know why. He was just buying cigs. He looked kind. He was someone's…

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8Jul

Same picture again

I sat on the library steps. Hot afternoon. Laptop on my knees. I opened the folder. Four sixty one shots from Lisbon. I told myself they were for Werner. I scro…

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