Mark's diary

2Aug

The wrist thing

The shoulder clicks clean today. That felt good. But my right wrist is not right. I taped it before rounds. Rob saw. He did not ask. I did not say. I keep think…

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1Aug

Said yes too fast

The Manila envelope is still on the counter. Has been there since the thirtieth. I walk past it. Dr Reyes's number is right there on the receipt. I do not call.…

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31Jul

The shoulder held today

I swam this morning. Six fifteen. The bay was grey and the wind bit my face. I got in. The catch came through and my arm followed and the shoulder clicked clean…

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30Jul

left it on the counter

I stood in the hall at six. The singlet is still up there. 2004. I did not take it down. I walked to the kitchen. I opened the drawer under the spare thermals.…

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29Jul

The Drawer Stays Shut

The drawer stayed shut. I stood there. Phone in one hand. Envelope in the other. I put it away a whole month ago. I can see the names right through the paper. I…

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28Jul

The flinch I recognise

The shoulder did it again. Clean click on the fourth stroke, same as yesterday. Two days in a row now. I know what that means. I know what it doesn't mean. I he…

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27Jul

Held pads. Didn't phone.

Held pads for a new kid today. Josh. Eighteen. He listens, that's the thing. Most kids nod and do what they want. Josh nods and does what I say. Danny signed hi…

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26Jul

I Said Yeah

The shoulder clicked on round three. Then again on round four. Same spot. Same sound. Like a little snap that only I hear. After the bag Danny pulled me in. He…

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25Jul

running from the pool

I swim the bay. six fifteen. water is grey. wind is mean. the shoulder clicks on the fourth stroke. it does not break. my arm just keeps going. I stand up in th…

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24Jul

The drawer stayed shut

Sparring day. Danny put me in with Lachie for two light rounds. My shoulder clicked clean on the third hit. No pain. Nothing. That is the problem. Nothing. Lach…

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23Jul

six years easy

Took Pete down the cliff track today. Soft bloke from Brisbane. We kept it easy. He asked how long I had been doing this. I said six years. The number sat in my…

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22Jul

The drawer stays shut

Apex today. Wrapped Lachie's hands and the other lads fighting tonight. Three rounds on the heavy bag. My shoulder clicked clean on the third. That part felt ri…

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21Jul

I did not pick it up

Woke up before the alarm. Drove to St Kilda in the dark. Water was grey and cold and my arms knew what to do. Fourth stroke, my shoulder clicked. Once. Then it…

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20Jul

The receipt I left up

Stir-fry in the pan when Carly rang. She asked did I ring them. I said yeah. She went quiet on the line. The pan got too hot. I told her about Thursday. The slo…

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19Jul

The List Runs to Autumn

The shoulder clicked clean on the third round. Not the bad click. The good one. I worked the heavy bag three rounds and felt every one. Danny was at the desk. W…

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18Jul

I didn't call her

Brett asked me today how long I have been doing this. Six years. I said it like it was nothing. But it is six years since the pool. Six years of pie shops and c…

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17Jul

taught myself not to want

went back to the bay this morning. alone. wind off the south west. flags pulled flat on the club. went in anyway. did the slow laps. just the catch and the pull…

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16Jul

I picked up the phone

I am at the bench. The phone is right here. The receipt is right here. I keep looking at both. I picked it up and I did not put it down. I called the office. My…

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15Jul

I went back in

I swam this morning. Six am. St Kilda. The water was grey and I did not tell anyone I was going. I had a slot. I should have called and given it up. I did not c…

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14Jul

Didn't see that one

trained this morning. Apex. put the gloves on and told myself, today is just today. got in with Lachie. second go he hit me on the shoulder. one clean hit I did…

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13Jul

The singlet is still up

I trained this morning. Lachie wants a title fight in six months. Good for him. He still wants big things out loud. I hit the bag. Round four, the shoulder clic…

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12Jul

I did not dial

The water was grey this morning. Same grey as always. I swam and my shoulder clicked on the fourth stroke. Clean. No pain. That used to be the bad part. Now it…

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11Jul

cannot out-walk this one

Up before five. Drove to the coast. Walk with a dad and his girl from Bendigo. Wind was up. Kept them moving the whole way. At the lighthouse the girl asked if…

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10Jul

I picked up the phone

Friday. Danny asked if I wanted a quiet session. I said yeah. He did not push. That was worse than pushing, somehow. Three o'clock I worked the bag. Round three…

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9Jul

Yeah all good

Swam the bay at six. Wind was flat and mean. My shoulder clicked on the fourth stroke. Just once. It did not split open. I did not say the click out loud. There…

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8Jul

Did Not Dial

There is a kid at the gym. Lachie. He is twenty-one. He just got someone to back him. He will not stop talking about his fight career. I know that kid. I was th…

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7Jul

Said Yeah Meant Maybe

Drove Carly to the airport. Four fifteen flight. She hugged me at the kerb. Said mate, ring them. I said yeah. She said yeah. That was it. Radio off the whole w…

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6Jul

the call I won't make

Took Carly to the Vic Market. Coffee first. Then Apex because she wanted to see it. Danny shook her hand at the door like she was someone big. We ate meat pies…

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5Jul

Carly Was Right, Again

Water was easy. The hard part was after. Went in at seven. The bay was grey. Wind from the south-west. I just swam. Catch, pull, turn, breathe. My shoulder did…

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4Jul

She saw the fridge

Carly is here. She flew in today. One bag. A paperback. The hug you only get from someone who saw the worst of you and stayed. I said the shoulder is fine. She…

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